archive from my notes

It rose in my heart—like an imprint of the unfortunate—maybe that's why all my lovers ran. Their kisses dissolved in my lips, for they spoke no yesterday. I am twisted and godly; there's no in between; all I've ever be was fear, for all I had is all I've burned. There's nothing left but ashes and hurt—even me I cannot name mine. This body with flesh and bones is like a hotel; pain has its way in and out of me without getting caught, without getting touched. A fresh breath of air—and the flame of warmth that burns you as time. A silent pause in the universe that's always moving, that I desire—the universe that has a deep black hole that's sucking all of me and leaving me undone. I am too young into thinking that I'm running out of time. This reality never sits right with me, but the carousel never stops.